Now, don’t be discouraged, because even if believing in yourself isn’t your strong suit, even if you’re not used to believing you can have what you REALLY want in life, today could be the day you turn all your thoughts & beliefs around.

It’s NEVER too late to course correct.

In fact, those people who really do live the life they REALLY want, move throughout their life in a zig-zag pattern, re-adjusting, re-thinking, using their creative muscle to help them successfully navigate life’s obstacles. In sailing, this type of maneuvering is referred to as “tacking”.

They zig-zag & change direction in their response to life, but they NEVER lose sight of what it is they really want and they never stop believing they are worthy of having it.

All it requires is a willingness to get started, a deep commitment to becoming aware of and working to change the negative thoughts that are holding you back and an anchoring into your worthiness.

Guy Laliberte, the visionary founder of Cirque Du Soleil was told he was ‘crazy’ by many others. He was told ‘NO’ by loads of financial institutions when he asked them to fund his vision. But that never deterred him from believing that he would bring his imagination to life and realize his dreams.

Don’t be discouraged by others. Other people’s judgments and criticism is NEVER about you; it’s about their own fear, their own insecurity & their own inability to believe in and value themselves.

And please don’t be deterred by your own negative beliefs. Guy Laliberte succeeded in accomplishing his dreams because he never gave up & he never allowed himself to be discouraged. Every time he was told ‘no’ he simply told himself he’d find another way.

Below are a few of his principles for success. Hopefully they will inspire you too!

• Don’t allow yourself to become discouraged of overcome with fear. Instead build up a support network & community that REALLY believes in your dreams.

• Be a good gardener of you’re your dream. Nurture it, feed it, pay attention to it regularly.

• Be clear in your values.

• Realize the ways in which you are privileged.

• You may need to make adjustments along the way, but do not compromise fundamentally who you are inside you &/or what you believe.

• Evaluate danger but NEVER nurture your fear.

• Believe you can.

SO, from me to you today: please don’t give up. Don’t take your eyes or your heart off your ideal destination.
 

There is NO obstacle you can’t overcome. @RealBeautyIs

In fact, maybe what you perceive as ‘obstacles’ are really windows of possibility, showing you what you really can achieve and who you really can be when you believe in yourself.

with love, light + REAL Beauty,
xo Lori

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I know it can be tough sometimes to see your own greatness, but it’s possible you can’t see it because you’re spending your time with people who can’t see it either.

If you’re not feeling so great about yourself, one of the places to begin taking a closer look is the company you keep.

Here’s a few strategies for evaluating the quality of your current relationships:

1. Close your eyes and visualize a specific person.

2. As you being to see that person in your mind, pay VERY close attention to how the image of that person makes you feel.

3. Does thinking about that person bring a smile to your face?

4. Does visualizing that person make you feel open, alive, happy, supported and good?

5.What words come to mind when you think of that person? Are they positive or negative?

The work I do with my private clients is always centered around paying close attention to how it is you REALLY feel in any given situation or relationship in your life. The more honest you are about how something or someone makes you feel the more power you have to move beyond what is not serving you so you can begin to create a life that is much more in harmony with who you are and what you value & desire most.

Stepping into your greatness usually means that you must leave behind relationships, habits, ways of thinking & often times a career that no longer serves you. It can be one of the hardest moves in your life to make, but the payoff is pretty darn epic.

Because ‘moving beyond’ allows you to finally see the greatest possibilities of who you REALLY are and what you can REALLY create with your life.

You are great. Now the BIG question is: will you give yourself permission to live inside your greatness?

with Real Beauty,
xo Lori

I’m filled with tremendous gratitude for the connection and love I share with all of you.

This morning I received the following “Note From the Universe” in my inbox and it made me cry; not because I’m sad, but because it rings so true and deep for each and every one of us.

Sometimes in the wild ride that is our life we get caught in our pain, sadness, uncertainty, stress and fear. We get caught in other people’s issues, losing sight of just how unique and special we really are.

Focused on managing the day to day details and demands of our everyday life we forget how short our time here on earth really is and we allow our fear and self-doubt to cripple us from living smack dab in the middle of our biggest, boldest and most powerful self.

I’m wondering if you may have even stopped believing that you’re powerful or special at all?

May the birthday message I received from the Universe today, (see below) remind you of just how much you have to offer this world.

And if you’re sitting inside a place where you may have lost your way or can’t see the light, then my grandest wish for you is that you empower yourself to re-connect with the child you once were who believed in magic, lived inside her dreams, embraced her curiosity and creativity and never doubted for a second the possibilities of who she could be and what she could achieve.

As I blow out my candles tonight know that my wish is for you to realize how very sacred and urgent your life really is.

Chances are good if you’re reading this message that you live in a world where you are blessed with freedoms & liberties that other women may never know. May you honor that knowledge by stepping fully into your power and holding yourself accountable for creating the life you really want: no longer waiting for someone else to give you permission, no longer willing to play small or hold yourself back.

And my biggest wish of all is that you are able to arrive at a place within yourself where you finally realize that showing up in the world as the most real version of yourself is what makes you REALLY beautiful.

……………………………………………………..

MY BIRTHDAY NOTE FROM THE UNIVERSE

“A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like you doesn’t come along all that often. In fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again.

You’re an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:

You’re the kind of person,
Who’s hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you’ve met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don’t know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

……………………………………………………..

ps. As I enter into and honor my final month of pregnancy my notes to you will likely be less frequent for the next couple of months. Have no fear, I’m still VERY much here and will be back in action before you know it. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me directly if I can help support and serve you in any way.

May you live your life as a celebration today.

with love, light + REAL Beauty,
xo Lori

It only takes an instant to shift your perspective, to see something that you’ve allowed to go unnoticed.

It’s no secret (at least not to the people close to me) that I’m not my best self (by ANY means) when I’m pregnant. And now that I’m in my third trimester (approaching week 30), I’m finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the very real challenges of both my physical limitations and the crazy effects of these things called hormones!

I’m irritable, impatient and super reactionary. My moods are unpredictable and I find myself thinking and behaving in ways that I’m SO not proud of. And while I know this place I’m in is so very temporary in the scope of my entire life; I’m often finding myself not liking who I’m being.

And I’m sort of ashamed to admit that my husband gets the WORST of it.

Why is it that the person I chose to love and be closest to for the rest of my life seems to always be on the receiving end of my worst self? Hmmm….definitely a BIG topic for another post, but I share the truth with you of how I’m feeling lately and how I’ve been treating my husband because this morning I experienced a moment of pure love.

As I was sitting in our car this morning on the streets of NYC, (so as not to get a parking ticket), my husband came by with the kids to say goodbye before taking them to school. As I watched the three of them walk away, through the side view mirror I saw my husband who was already carrying our 1.5 year old son on the front of him, pick up our 4 yr old daughter and put her on his shoulders. And in that moment a wave of pure love washed over me. There’s my husband, who I am so often SO very hard on, helping me out BIG time by taking the kids to school, willing to risk being late for work, carrying BOTH kids on his shoulders and in his heart doing his very best to be a loving and supportive husband and father.

And SO often (especially in my marriage) I fail to really see the good stuff; the real love.

But I saw it this morning and it was a powerful reminder for me to work harder and practice more at really noticing the big love and the big blessings that already exist in my life. And maybe I’m the one that’s missing out by not allowing the way HE shows loves to be really noticed and appreciated by me. It makes me realize that whatever our own personal situation may be: whether it’s pregnancy, not liking our bodies, not enjoying our job or feeling like maybe you’re in the wrong relationship, whenever we live our life from a place of not liking who we’re being or where we are in our life, we miss out on SO much.

My hope in sharing my very real moment with you this morning is that you can hang your heart on the very real and powerful truth that:

It only takes an instant to shift your perspective, to see something that you’ve allowed to go unnoticed.

And just maybe that could change everything!

with Real Beauty,
xo Lori

Has this ever happened to you? Even if it hasn’t, stay with me here, I promise there’s a valuable takeaway.

Taking inventory of the food I have on hand BEFORE going shopping made me think about the value of taking inventory of our lives before we pull the trigger on consuming more.

Noticing and appreciating what you already have in your life will serve you in 3 BIG ways:

1. Chances are good it will lesson your desire for wanting more: thus saving you time, energy & money!

2. It will help you make more meaningful choices around what you purchase, consume or otherwise bring into your life, and

3. It allows you to make decisions FIRST from a place of gratitude, which can have all kinds of positive repercussions.

I’m calling this practice: Mindful, Meaningful Consumption (MMC).

I also believe that when we get into the habit of practicing MMC, and begin to implement this ‘way of living’ of not taking more than we really need; we create ample space to experience a satisfaction with our life in a way we never dreamed possible.

If you’re serious about upping the quality of your life, I encourage you to take a few minutes today and REALLY notice not only your spending habits and buying behavior, but what it is you are trying to call into your life. Get clear about it. Write it down. What is it you REALLY desire?

This moment may just be the perfect opportunity to REALLY take inventory of what you already have.

It’s super simple to get started. Just pick any area of your life, for example: open your closets, your jewelry box, your makeup bag, your cupboards & your fridge; notice what’s really there. Take a good look at your bank statements and notice how you’re spending and valuing your income. Think about the relationships that are present in your life and give thanks for the love & support that has already shown up for you.

Now, just to be clear; I’m certainly not saying that taking inventory and being thankful for what you already have means that you shouldn’t desire more or something different, but there’s great power in FIRST starting from a place of noticing all that you already have.

Here’s a few power questions to ask yourself before you pull the trigger to consume, buy or bring something into your life:

O Is what I want already present in my life?

O Do I REALLY want whatever it is I’m about to consume, buy or bring into my life? OR am I really just yearning for how I think that thing is going to make me feel?

O Take a moment and ask yourself, “Why do I want what I want?” Really go deep here, try not to get caught up in rationalizing your behavior, (something we all do VERY easily). Try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Get to the guts of your desire.

O Will this item / person / food etc add long-term value & meaning into my life or is it a quick fix, an impulse consumption?

There’s nothing I want more for you than for you to enjoy yourself and your life, so go ahead and give yourself permission to indulge every once in awhile, but if your life is not really going in the direction you desire, if you’re not really feeling that great about yourself on a regular basis; I invite you to create space today to become more mindful about what you’re choosing to bring into your life and your home on a daily basis.

Because you deserve the life you really want.
with Real Beauty,
xo Lori

When you’re happy, suddenly things that weren’t even a possibility become reality. – Shawn Achor

I know there’s so much talk in our culture about the benefits of being happy that it can get a little nauseating at times. I totally get it.

It’s certainly not realistic to expect that we’re going to be happy all the time. In many ways, striving to be happy ALL the time wouldn’t really serve us because I believe there’s much to be learned and powerful growth that occurs through our struggles, our pain, and our dark times.

That said, I hope you’ll take a few moments out of your day today to watch this Ted Talk by Shawn Achor.

Not only did Shawn’s talk make me laugh out loud countless times, but it’s filled with profound and inspired new ways to think about our potential for happiness.

While I don’t think we need to be happy all the time, it’s remarkable how having a positive outlook on life helps us powerfully create our reality.

In this talk you’ll learn:

• The benefits of seeing stress as a challenge instead of a threat.
• The scientifically backwards & broken formula that most of us live our lives by.
• How being happy improves your intelligence, creativity, energy and more.
• Why your definition of ‘success’ will never bring happiness.
• What REALLY shapes your reality.

AND SO MUCH MORE.

I’ve watched this video numerous times and have laughed out loud and experienced crazy inspiration each time.

“It’s not necessarily our reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. IF we can change the lens, then we can change our happiness.”

Watch the video here.

ps. Stay tuned for ‘The Real Beauty Sessions’, my first online e-course designed to help you figure out who you REALLY are so you can create the life you REALLY want. Coming soon….

Here’s to a really happy weekend,
xo Lori

“Take back your light. Know that when you’re in awe of someone else’s greatness, you’re really seeing yourself.” – Debbie Ford

Just a little reminder today that your outer world reflects your inner world.

When you see greatness or feel inspired it’s not because of someone else or something outside yourself, it’s because that greatness and inspiration lies inside of you (all the time actually).

However you’re feeling about your life right now, use it as a powerful opportunity to better understand how you’re feeling about yourself and the choices you’re making in your daily life. Whatever you choose to focus on grows.

TODAY’S ACTION STEP

1. Identify one thing you would like to see grow in your life?
2. Once you’ve named your one thing; list 3 things you will do by Sunday night to support its growth.
3. Intend to follow-through.

Here’s to your greatness, it was there all along.

with Real Beauty,
xo Lori

Not everyone you enter into a relationship with is capable of or has the emotional & psychological capacity to meet you where you’re at. Not everyone can give you what you REALLY need. This concept may sound basic, but for many of us it lies at the core of certain relationships that are causing us to struggle and suffer.

Your ability to enjoy and feel fulfilled in any relationship derives from clarity around the following two things:

1. How it is that WE are really showing up the relationship? ie: Who is it that we’re really being?And…

2. Getting very real + honest about what the other person is truly capable of.

Holding onto expectations and desires that are unrealistic and unfair leads to suffering.

When we ask that someone else validate us and take responsibility for creating meaning and love in our life; not only do we suffer, but we give away our power. We take on the role of victim and step inside a role of ‘less-than” we send ourselves and everyone else a very strong message about how powerful and deserving we’re willing to be.

The road to relationship rescue begins by getting REAL with yourself about the following issues:

1. What is it I really need from this person (this relationship) that I’m not getting? ie: What’s the REAL issue here?

2. How might I be behaving that’s contributing to me not getting what I want?

3. Am I REALLY giving myself what I say I want most from the other person?

I do not enter into this topic lightly. Relationships are complicated stuff, for sure, with many many layers and dimensions, but often times much can be resolved by FIRST taking a deeper and clearer look at ourselves. Understanding where our own issues and desires are coming from allows us create better conditions for a more meaningful and loving relationship.

We all have relationships with people in our life who may never be able to show up inside the relationship the way we really want. But if we try to force and fight and prove that things should be different, then we’re the one that loses; big time.

People can only give what they’re capable of giving. And if we choose to move forward being pissed off and disappointed and unforgiving then we’re the one with that holds negativity and toxicity in our heart.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Radical acceptance of ourselves and others is not always easy, but it’s a damn good thing to get into the daily habit of practicing. Every time you practice self-acceptance and accountability you throw yourself a life preserver and a very serious message of validation; that you are worthy of and will take responsibility for rescuing yourself from swimming in a pool of anger, disappointment and resentment.

So, here’s to taking a first step today towards getting REAL and deciding to give yourself what you really need!

Want to share with me what step you’re going to take to give yourself what you really need? I’d love to hear. Email me directly at lori [at] realbeautyis [dot] com

ps. Understanding who you REALLY are improves everything in your life. Stay tuned for my unique “Real Beauty” e-course, specifically designed to help you discover and embrace the REAL you! Coming soon…

With Real Beauty,
Xo Lori

Within each experience of pain or negativity is the opportunity to challenge the perception that lies behind it, the fear that lies behind it, and choose to learn with wisdom. The fear will not vanish immediately, but it will disintegrate as you work with courage. When fear ceases to scare you, it cannot stay. When you choose to learn through wisdom, to evolve consciously, your fears surface one at a time in order for you to exorcise them with inner faith. This is how it happens. You exorcise your own demons.” – Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul

Here’s a perfect power mantra for you today: “I choose to learn with wisdom.”
Write it out. See how it feels to say it out loud to yourself right now. “Today, I choose to learn with wisdom.”

Learning this way means that there is great meaning and wisdom to be understood by every single thing that happens to you, not just the good stuff. Whatever is frustrating, stressing, overwhelming, challenging you right now is actually your greatest opportunity for deep wisdom and self-knowledge.

Your every thought is an invitation to REALLY understand yourself, but only if you choose to see it this way.

You don’t need a sword to slay your demons my friend; your most powerful weapon is your wisdom.

It’s the action part that changes everything.

I implemented the smallest change to my morning schedule today and it shifted everything about my morning. As I was preparing to take my kids to school, I threw on my gym clothes instead of my regular clothes and decided that after I dropped my kids at school I would take the subway to the gym and treat myself to a workout, rather than head straight home.

After not working out for nearly 4-5 months (which is SO not aligned with who I really am) I just couldn’t take feeling the negative way I feel when I don’t work out. Now yes, I do have a little excuse for not working out much lately. I’m nearly 6 mos pregnant (okay I guess this is my official announcement)! During pregnancy I’ve been granting myself full permission to do whatever I feel like doing. And I haven’t been feeling like working out in awhile. But this morning, something shifted, and although I’ll still grant myself permission to eat what I want and do what I want during pregnancy I know that I’ve crossed my threshold. The truth is, I don’t like who I am when I don’t workout. Working out for me is sacred time; it helps me feel grounded, inspired, alive and good. Working out has always been a very necessary and important part of my self-care routine.

So after 5 months of slacking on the self-care, this morning I said, “enough is enough” I’m going to the gym. And with that I simply put on my gym clothes, bought a banana from the street vendor and declared to myself that I was going.

I share my morning with you today, because here’s the message I want you to hear:

You don’t always have to make some big, radical change to dramatically improve your situation.

You don’t have to have everything figured out before you take that first action step towards doing things differently.

Here’s how to get started implementing change in your own life:

Rather than spending lots of time thinking about and focusing on your entire plan for implementing change, simply identify ONE thing you can do differently today that will support the change you desire.

For example: before going to the gym this morning I didn’t make any kind of long-term plan. I didn’t think about how long I would work out, how many days a week I would commit to, or what kind of exercises I would do at the gym. I kept it simple and only focused on starting. My ONLY focus was to get to the gym.

When we find ourselves ruminating in all the little details and worrying about how it’s all going to play out, we sabotage our ability to reach out goals before we even get started. All those thoughts running around in our head prevent us from taking action on behalf of something we REALLY want in our heart.

Now of course, this doesn’t mean that having a well-thought out and specific plan for our success isn’t valuable and important, but sometimes when we’ve reached our threshold and we’re sick and tired of feeling (fill in the blank w/ your own word here), all that’s required is that you take corrective action; NOW.

Rest assured there will be plenty of time in the future to formulate a long-term plan. For now, quiet the noise in your head, focus on ONE small move you can make and just start.

When I was in my mid 20’s I used to box. And I mean, seriously box. The kind of boxing where I would wake up at 5A to meet my trainer at the boxing gym, wrap my hands, jump rope, hit the heavy bag and do some serious sparring; the kind of sparring where a mouth guard & headgear was required; the kind of sparring that left me going to work each morning with a headache and a bruised body. Serious boxing. And while there were many reasons why I was in love with the sweet science of boxing, the biggest reason was that I began to see the art of boxing as a microcosm of life. Boxing became my mirror; reflecting clearly that who I was in the ring, was exactly who I was in life. The technical boxing lessons I received each morning in the ring not only taught me how to box, they offered me meaningful lessons on how to live.

One of the stand-out lessons is the danger of over-thinking:

In a drastically oversimplified explanation, it goes like this:

Boxing is not a fight; it’s a dance; an expression and exchange of energy. And while it might appear that it’s all about being able to throw and receive a punch, the science of boxing actually involves learning how to respond and flow with your opponent’s energy.

Boxing forces you to get REAL present REAL fast. There’s no time for thinking in the ring. You don’t think, you don’t anticipate, you don’t worry or make a plan. You stay open and relaxed to what is happening in the moment. Thinking causes you to hesitate and if you hesitate; even for a split second, you risk getting hit, getting caught off guard and getting hurt. Thinking leaves you vulnerable. Mastering the art of boxing requires a releasing of your “thinking” self.

Translate this lesson into your everyday life & it looks something like this:

1. Identify what’s troubling you.

(I feel unfulfilled in my job, I wish I was more turned on in my relationship, I don’t feel good about my body, I wish I was more confident about who I am, I know I’m holding myself back from going after something I really want, I’m always comparing myself to others and it makes me feel bad, I’m easily distracted from my big goals, I wish I could find true love, etc etc)

2. Identify ONE action step you can take TODAY to improve the way you feel about what’s troubling you.

3. Now do it. Simply start. Implement the action step. Don’t think about what’s next or what it all has to mean. To borrow a brilliant slogan from NIKE: Just do it.

It doesn’t matter how big or small the action step even is. It doesn’t even REALLY matter what the action step is; just give yourself permission to act!

Whether your goal is to get back to the gym, eat healthier, improve your finances, make a career change, or to start feeling better about yourself, I urge you today to make one action move that’s aligned with what you really desire.

Leo Babauta, Founder of ZenHabits says, “It’s the habit, not the plan that makes all the difference in the world.”

I can not stress this to you enough:

the only way to get what you REALLY want from life is to form the habit of TAKING ACTION on a consistent basis in service of what you desire most.

My one small action step of going to the gym this morning led to numerous positive results: I felt good about myself, it was good for my body, it made me want to drink more water, I ate a healthy breakfast, it inspired this post and it made me want to workout again this week. One small move = HUGE RESULTS.

And now I want the same for you.
What small move will you make today in service of what you really want in your heart?

Want more personal guidance tackling your specific issue or coming up with an action step? I’d love to help. Send me a brief email at lori [at] realbeautyis [dot] com detailing what you’d most like to change and I’d be glad to offer my advice.

With Real Beauty,
xo Lori